Last night I, and the house that I live in, had a moment of truth. Not just simple truth. We had a moment of Godly Truth.

It’s hard for me to attempt at replaying and that transpired last night at 17 Enterprise St, Raleigh, NC. However, whether it was from God…there is no doubt that it was from God.


Trench Warfare

The last few months have been hard on me. I have always taken a lot of pride in my academic work and, out of all things, that has been the greatest blow as ROTC and the military have become a bigger and bigger part of my life. However, along with the military, living in a house with six other men (and with all the guests that come through as a ministry house) it has been truly a challenge learning to live together.

Without going into much detail, last night the tension reached a peak high as I myself lost any sense of respect and tolerance and acted out of anger and pride. Funny thing is that I had always taken pride in the fact I was the “middle man”–not a fighter between the two groups of people in the house but simply a middle man and the hope for the transformation of our home.

However, the past few weeks I had allowed my emotions and temper to get the best of me and I realized that I became part of the unforgiveness, anger, and hatred that had overwhelmed the house the last year or so. I stopped being the hope for change and instead became a fighter in the trenches–a developed a vendetta against certain people, became full of unforgiveness, and I came to a state of mind in which I was willing for the provocation enough to throw a punch at somebody. The saddest part is that the entire time I was blind to my very own state of living in sinfulness.


Last night something happened. My eyes were opened. We came within seconds of blood, but the Holy Spirit saved us right upon the brink of disaster. God is good, faithful, and graceful–this I am sure of. The Holy Spirit led me to a conversation outside with one of the leaders in the house, a friend of mine with whom my relationship had become tarnished by unforgiveness taking place in our hearts. In our conversation we dropped the gloves and spoke from the heart, we spoke truths, we spoke lies, we spoke from anger, and also from desperation. In the end, we spoke from love and the hope that, just as we had realized our own failures and sin that others would be able to come to grips with the fact we had stopped being Godly–we had invited the Devil into our home and even set him up a bed with an access-to-all pass.

After an illuminating conversation outside, in which God convicted of my own ineffectiveness and my own state of chronic sin, I came back inside a broken man. I was a broken man because in trying to start a fight God showed me that…I was wrong. I had been wrong for a long time and instead of being a light I had become a worshiper of my own pride and thoughts.

A Broken Man

I went back in doors and my fellow sinners were waiting to hear what I had talked about outside. They wanted to hear of my victory over out supposed enemies. They wanted to see their own ideas and misconceptions reign supreme. We wanted to be right and continue the fight. But God has other plans. God had broken me and my own sinfulness. God had turned me into a messenger of a message that was going to get into the nasty and dirty parts of our life.

The message was a simple one…”that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.”

I came up the small stairs that led from the main door to the living and sat down in one of the chairs. I didn’t really know where to start so I simply started.

I laid it out. I laid out the issues of the house, the negative attitude of people that live here and people and come in here. I stated that if you came through those doors with a negative fighting spirit you should turn around and just leave. I challenged my brothers and sisters on would we be able to reach this campus and our city if Christians were fighting Christians in our own homes. I talked about how the Devil loves what’s happening here and how the unforgiveness has to go. Because that is exactly what the Devil wants. Why bother us with belligerent atheists, confused agnostics, superconfused Mormons, and “wise” intellectuals when he can simply make us aim our guns at each other?

The Devil loves it when Christians become so unfocused that we simply lose all perspective that there are bigger battles to fight and there is no absolutely no room in the Kingdom of God and in the Lord’s Army for unforgiveness and unrelenting anger against anyone, but especially those that have also pledged their lives to Christ.

I talked about how that isn’t Christ like and about how futile it is to try to help out  non-Christian among us, who is dealing with so many issues, while what he sees is Christian hating on fellow Christians.

I ended mentioning that I had been convicted of my own sin and my own failure to make a difference. I confessed to the people I had issues with that I was guilty of talking behind their back and of being just as wrong as everybody else. I stated how nobody in this house was innocent and that we all needed to repent and come to grips with the fact we were being the very source of the demonic warfare that surrounded us.

I finished stating that whether we were students or former students, “Chi Alphans” or not, residents of the house or not, we are all members of the Kingdom of God and that this trench warfare was an obstacle in our mission to reach this city for Jesus Christ, that He may reign on our streets as He wants to reign in our hearts.


The Place of Prayer: revisited

A brother in Christ who had shown up that evening moved us into a time of prayer: exactly the first step needed in healing the wounds of our trench war. So we prayed and we opened our hearts to being transformed by God the Father and His Holy Spirit into the wonderful nature and character of Christ. After prayer we went our own ways in silence. I believe that we had broken through the enemy’s first line of defense and now it was time for the Holy Spirit to lead us to be transformed.


I write on the morning after the events mentioned above. As I write I am at peace with my fellow house members and my brothers and sisters in Christ. I do not hold destiny in my hands so I can not be certain of what God will do with what happened here and in the hearts of some of us last night; however, I pray that we, as a community, are led into a period of transformation. That is my prayer: that we may be transformed, sanctified, and glorified for the Glory of God. That is all I ask for because that is all I need and desire.

If you have read this post then please take a few minutes to pray. Pray for communities of Christians everywhere for we are all vulnerable to the same issues which engulfed our house. We are all vulnerable to being targets of terrible trench warfare that the enemy wants us to be part of to take away our focus from the real war and the real fight against the kingdom of darkness. If you may, then please pray.

Be blessed.